Mach 3, Disco 0

After waiting in the clubhouse in Omaha for the rain to finally suspend our extra inning game and allow the fireworks to go off on July 3rd, we got home from the game around 11:30pm.  The next morning we had to leave the house at 4am to get on a plane to fly to Oklahoma City via Dallas and play a 4th of July game in OKC again to a sold-out fireworks crowd.  On about 3 hours of sleep and seemingly amidst a layover all day, I was dragging a bit in the clubhouse.

With the Royals we have a no facial hair policy in the minors, and prior to the game I went to shave.  I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or lack of decent shaving cream, but by the time I had finished shaving, I was bleeding from my Adam’s Apple, had 3 parallel horizontal cuts just below my right ear lobe, and was missing a piece of my cheek just to the left of my nose which was bleeding profusely.  No facial hair though.

Much like Mother Nature did to the fireworks in Omaha, she rained on OKC’s parade as well and washed out the game on the 4th.  Again, like Omaha, they set the fireworks off so the fans wouldn’t leave unhappy, but by 9pm we were dressed and out of the clubhouse.  Right across the street from the field is a movie theater, so Mrs. Disco and I decided to utilize a rare night “free” to go see a movie.  We walked over to find a movie we wanted to see that started at 9:15.

Due to the rain out, there was no post-game spread provided by the clubby, so I was starving.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it through the movie without food, so I had Mrs. Disco go get the tickets and ran across the street to an Italian place that had calzones pre-made.  I ordered mine To-Go and on the short walk back to the movie theater I ate as fast as I could to get as much nourishment, such as it was, before I entered the theater where no outside food or drinks were allowed.  Between bites, I got a text from Mrs. Disco saying she went in to get us seats, but told the guy taking tickets I would be coming.

I walked into the theater but still had half my calzone left.  I was late at this point, but figured the previews were still going on, and after all it was the Proposal we were seeing, so I wasn’t going to die if I missed the very beginning.  Either way, I still rushed the food down my throat.  The ticket-taker was watching me curiously, and I figured he knew I was the guy who was coming in late without a ticket.  He seemed appauled at how fast I was eating my calzone, but once it was safely in my mouth, which no longer made it against the rules to bring in, I walked towards him to enter.

As I finished up chewing, I said to him, “Hi I’m Chris, my wife came in a minute ago, she showed you my ticket,” he smiled and acknowledged I need not go further with my story.

“Go ahead,” he said timidly.  “Um, but sir.”  I had started to walk towards theater 11, but turned back around.


“Um, I think you have a lot of sauce on your face.”  He used his finger to mirror on his face  the part of my upper cheek where he suspected I had sauce.  I fist got the little bit of sauce I could feel on the corner of my mouth, and then felt across my cheek for the sauce he was pointing out.  When my finger got to the right spot he nodded to show I had found it and I jumped a bit in pain as I was scraping across the open wound that was still healing.

Embarrassed, I said thanks and started to walk away.  I heard him say, “Sir, sir, there’s more…” and he trailed off.  I realized he must have thought I was an immense slob to get sauce on my left cheek, right ear lobe and Adam’s Apple and I sulked to the theater, blushing, bloated, and bloody.


  1. redlegs919

    i will survive in my mach 5 in my mach 5 i will survive yeah YEAH!

    that may be a bit before your time, young’in. that’s back when music was good and MTV wasn’t a poopstickfest.

    so, razor FAIL.

    but calzone-munching WIN!


  2. maranathasoon

    An interesting blog, Disco … and what exactly is a “Disco”? Do you have to plant it where it gets p[lenty of light and calzone? And what was the Proposal like, about? how many stars?

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